A Ballad Of Loss

One Art

by Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I'm 25. Not old enough to call myself 'wise' but I have found plenty of wisdom in loss. I've learnt the hard fact of life that nothing lasts forever. You lose your milk teeth, your boobs sag, school is over just when you begin to enjoy it, you lose your cell phone... and so on...!

I lost my childhood when I was in boarding school, more specifically during my summer holidays before 8th grade. It was scary, It was unfair and it taught me never to trust. Atleast never to trust other people's decisions made for me; made for my 'good.' But I dont think i consider this as my greatest loss. Yeah it was a terrible terrible thing but I shut it in a tiny box marked 'terrible terrible things' and locked it at the back of my mind. If the Dementors came calling this memory wouldn't be the one that would fill my heart with despair.

Hmmm I guess the memory that would come to me during a Dementor attack would be of losing my dog. Actually everything that led to the loss of my dog. The moment i saw my dog being torn apart... A friend of mine told me about the time he saw the girl he was in love with and how everything went quite in that moment, he could hear nothing. He could only see her, like in the movies. I experienced such a thing too, only in a very negative situation.

I got up at 7 in the morning and i could hear loud noises from outside. I went out and what i saw still sends shivers down my spine. Two dogs were attacking my Buzo... they had a hold on him, one by his neck and the other by his back. Buzo's legs were off the ground and those dogs were tugging and pulling at him as if my Buzo were a rag doll. The world stopped for me at that point. I couldnt feel anything... I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move... I'd lost all my senses but sight. I could only see Buzo being ripped apart. My body felt like lead, i could barely move, could do nothing. I dont know how long it was, but then I could hear screams... loud blood-curdling screams, it took me a few seconds to realise that it was me screaming. I remember running towards him, someone... I think my neighbour chased away the other dogs and i carried Buzo, he was broken and quiet and trembling. I brought him home, I was still screaming and my Mum asked me to calm down. The events that followed were more or less a blur. I just sat down next to him on the floor and held his paw. We had to put him to sleep. I held onto him until he was cold... This is the greatest loss of my life.

I lost people and pens, friends and frisbees, boyfriends and bangles... Its hard to say which of these i miss the most, what do i need back the most. But that's all pointless... Nothing's coming back. But i do know this - Loss is temporary. You only feel it if you dwell on it. There is more to come... much, much more to come, Loss and Gain. Its a funny dance. Funny if you see the humor in it. Tragic if u like drama - You pick! Either ways... Remember what you've lost, miss it, get smarter, move on... and hope for the worst lols.

I have cats now. 3 of them. They have nine lives. I'm hopeful they'll stay around for long ~fingers crossed~

P.S.
* My boobs aren't sagging. They still happy and perky :)
* I HATE gravity.
* Dementors are are soulless creatures considered to be among the foulest beasts on Earth.
They are soul-sucking fiends who guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. And oh yeah.. they appear in Harry Potter and belong to J.K. Rowling :)
* The poem used in the start of the blog is partly the inspiration for this post.
* I'm still waiting for the moment when time stands still for me in a happy positive way :)